please excuse my unworthy crack

This was the first phrase that came into my head as I sat here thinking of the best way to appologise for all my incomplete blogs as of late, so far this page hasn't been the "up to date" "this just in" "story of my life" I had hoped it to be, and the simple truth is I have been busy, and by busy I don't mean the usual " oh I need to go home and veg out for a bit, maybe play some computer games" busy, but actually busy busy, and most of my blogs have been written on public transport, which really limits the length of the blog/rant to the length of the trip, but I promise in future I will not start a blog unless I have a ful intention of actually finishing it... I might even go back and finish some of the old ones... don't hold your breath though

an update of the week that was AKA HOLY FUCK DUDE!

As my ex girlfriend once put it so elegantly I " only sell coffee for fucks sake " and if only it were as simple as that, but as the secong highest traded camodity next to oil and one of the most consumed liquids on the planet, thing can never be that simple. Though ill admit I am at the more glamorous end of the coffee process, the customers as of late have driven this jobs stress levels to that of hollywood movie hostage negotiator, with disputes with customers becoming equally as dramatic. And frankly I just can't be fucked dealing with it anymore, having made the decision to leave several weeks ago, but with several months left, I am finding it harder and harder to stop myself from telling the customers to forcibly insert their milk frothing devices up their rear orrifices (of course said in much cruder terms). I am no longer able to force a laugh and the repetative and tedius jokes of the customers, and funny little quirks which were once a fun way to identify certain customers have no become so infuriating that I now refuse to serve certain customers upon the principal that they don't deserve to be treated like regular human beings. Take "sneaky hands muldrich" for example, who would occasionally would take one or two capsules from the displays on his way out, which I always let fly becuase it was no big loss (I would go through twice that amount a day just keeping my self entertained) but these days SHM considers himself a bit of a master thief, as I watched him the other day, first pretending to look at the displays, then as I processed his sale he would palm them off to his other hand,then eventually into his pocket. I watched him the whole time aware and amused at first at how sneaky he was trying to be, thinking he was getting away with it. Then as I went to serve another customer, he continued to pace up and down the store with the same OBVIOUS routine: look,replace,look,palm,look then pocket. Now once again its not the loss of product im concerned about but rather the insult from this sad klepto fuck that he thinks im that stupid that I wouldn't notice. Next is mr jack kiss who can can only be described as a creepy f

might have over done it

After reading an article on the internet the other day about the side effects off caffeine on exercise, I decided that it was a good idea to load up on coffees before my sunday jog that afternoon, of course I made this decision before finishing the article and was downing my third espresso when I came across the cons of caffeine and exercise, so I decided to stop at three and then that afternoon I did the entire 7 km jog in one go for the first time. So naturally in my cocky young mind it made perfect sense that more is more and that I could only get better the more I drank.... so.... today I started the day of with one macciato at a cafe with a friend, then once I got home I busted out the good ol nespresso machine and downed another 4 espressos withing ten minutes.... then proceded to put on some loud music and dance around the house jumping about whilst getting my jogging gear together. I straped on my brand new heart monitor that I hadn't used before and got a base reading of 85 bpm (now like I said its my first time using it so im not sure what exactly that means but im assuming given the amount off caffeine in my system it would be higher then normal) and out the door I went. Now its hard to feel the effect of 5 coffees (possibly 6 I can't be sure) when your jogging 7 kms in the hot afternoon sun, but once I got home things just didn't feel right, there wasn't that usual satisfying exhaustion, but rather a feeling of "WHAT'S NEXT" so I messaged some friends to see if they were up for a movie, and then for what seemed like hours, sat around anxiously waiting for a reply (hmm) finally it came (it was prolly about 20 mins) and I was out the door again. Sitting at the bus stop, I once again had a panicked feeling the something was not right, and was constanly looking around for god knows what. Suddenly I remembered my little splurge that afternoon with the coffee machine, and realised I was prolly in for a long long night. Not becuase it would be particularly difficult or troubling, but just because I would have no patietnce for anything and I certainly would not be sleeping tonight... so that brings me to this moment now, sitting in the broadway shopping centre, waiting for my friends, watching the slowest fucking clock in history, eyeing off random strangers as they pass... sweet dreams

dental guilt

As most of you may be aware, I am one of the braces wearing elite, however something you may not be aware of is that I was actually not born wearing braces, though given the length of time I have had then on, you can be forgiven for thinking otherwise. In truth these braces were placed there by mere mortal man (woman) and some day may even be removed, alowing me to once again dine on bok choi with out fear of choking to death (if this confuses you then you've obviousley never had laksa with braces) but this dream can only come true provided I put in a little effort and actually turn up to my dentist apointments this time. Yesterday was my first appointment this year as well as being my first apointment IN a year, which clearly hasn't helped my progress, and not surprisingly the dentist wasnt to impressed with my 1 year break from aural hygiene. From the moment I walked in the front door I could feel their eyes, judging me, from the lady at the front desk to the dental assistants collecting patients, my mind running with paranoid thoughts about internal memo's warning all staff about the guy who thinks he's to good to go to the dentist "attention all staff, please be aware that a patient by the name of mattiaf morelos (they always spell it wrong) will be coming in for an apointment today, mr morelos has decided to return to us after evadeing us for over 12 months now, choosing not not care his teeth but rather jeopordise his eternal smile with an unhealthy life style of coffee, cigarettes, candy and class 1 narcotics no doubt. Please make sure this patient is given no special treatment, and if you have anything you would like to throw please do so. And finally the weekly dental hospital bingo night is postponed this week due to an internal outbreak of herpes, all hail lord dentalor!" finally my name is called and I get up to walk the long walk of shame

on a side note

Over the last month and a half I have taken up jogging, well more walking at first but gradually working my way up to long distance running over the past couple of weeks, I might go into more detail later, but it just occured to me that perhaps one of the reasons im enjoying it so much is because when im jogging the only thoughts going through my head are "man my legs hurt" and "damn im thirsty"... its nice to have a break from questioning the complexitys of the universe for just 45 mins 2 times a week...

The very first

So its 1am thursday morning, and I'm lying in bed wide awake, like most nights, a thousands thoughts running through my head, a thousand questions, a thousand what if's and why's, all keeping me up as though ill somehow come up with the answers of the world while trying to find that perfect sleeping position, that perhaps I should keep thinking about it in the hopes I'll solve all my problems any second now.

I wish I could make it stop but the mind just keeps on ticking, through the night often waking me up through the early hours to continue thoughts that have no answer....

So this is my first blog (here) so I guess I should start with a little introduction to the page. I've set up this page in an attempt to silence those endless thoughts, those endless questions that follow me throughout the days and into the nights, to write them all down in an attempt to achieve some sort of clarity, as well as having a good ol' bitch along the way, becuase I know "my readers" do love it so.

Apologies in advance for disgraceful grammer, spelling, punctuation and layout, but ill be writing most of these from my hiptop which is not exactly made for publishing, I will try to correct from time to time for ease of viewing, however I won't make to many corrections as I feel the truth is always in the first draft and any corrections are just a denial of our true selves.

I will also have a flickr site in conjunction with this one, to which I will try to upload photos of my life as they are happening, straight from my phone.

We shall see how my little 'cybersocial' experiment goes sharing my life with the online community, qand more importantly how my phones battery copes. Bye for now