dental guilt

As most of you may be aware, I am one of the braces wearing elite, however something you may not be aware of is that I was actually not born wearing braces, though given the length of time I have had then on, you can be forgiven for thinking otherwise. In truth these braces were placed there by mere mortal man (woman) and some day may even be removed, alowing me to once again dine on bok choi with out fear of choking to death (if this confuses you then you've obviousley never had laksa with braces) but this dream can only come true provided I put in a little effort and actually turn up to my dentist apointments this time. Yesterday was my first appointment this year as well as being my first apointment IN a year, which clearly hasn't helped my progress, and not surprisingly the dentist wasnt to impressed with my 1 year break from aural hygiene. From the moment I walked in the front door I could feel their eyes, judging me, from the lady at the front desk to the dental assistants collecting patients, my mind running with paranoid thoughts about internal memo's warning all staff about the guy who thinks he's to good to go to the dentist "attention all staff, please be aware that a patient by the name of mattiaf morelos (they always spell it wrong) will be coming in for an apointment today, mr morelos has decided to return to us after evadeing us for over 12 months now, choosing not not care his teeth but rather jeopordise his eternal smile with an unhealthy life style of coffee, cigarettes, candy and class 1 narcotics no doubt. Please make sure this patient is given no special treatment, and if you have anything you would like to throw please do so. And finally the weekly dental hospital bingo night is postponed this week due to an internal outbreak of herpes, all hail lord dentalor!" finally my name is called and I get up to walk the long walk of shame